A/N: Kouji's POV. Present tense. Slightly odd. Slight fluff.
Good Medicine
It’s been ten days since he got back from saving the world again. Ten days since I decided I had to tell him how I feel. I’d slowly realized it over the two years he’d been home. When he left again, I realized that I may not have all the time in the world to tell him.
It’s been six days since Genrou caught a stray arrow in a fight with a rival group of bandits. Six days since I nearly lost him completely. He lost so much blood, and there nothing I could do except watch.
It’s been two days since we tracked down some of the members of the other bandit gang. Two days since I killed the man that shot Genrou with my bare hands. I started hitting him and couldn’t stop. When my men pulled me off of his battered body, I realized that I was also angry at myself. I’d nearly lost the chance to tell Genrou how I felt. I looked back at man I’d murdered. I felt sick.
Genrou is doing better now. He’s awake and eating again. He can’t get up yet, but at least he’s out of danger.
I can’t wait any longer.
I head back to his room after meeting with some of my men to discuss our defenses. It hasn’t been that long since I brought him his dinner. He should still be awake.
I pause outside his door and take a deep breath. In the last ten days, I’ve thought of a million ways to say what I need to. But nothing seems exactly right. I mean, if Genrou were a girl, this would be easier. I know how to talk to girls, with flowery language and all. But I can’t talk to Genrou like that! I need to keep it simple. I take another deep breath and open the door.
I’m not sure if I should be frustrated I relieved to see that Genrou’s asleep. On the one hand, I’m off the hook for now. But on the other hand, I missed another chance.
I sigh and approach the bed quietly. Genrou looks kinda . . . well, cute when he’s asleep. Although his face is still pale from the blood loss. My fingers idly brush a few strands of fiery hair out of his face. He doesn’t stir in the slightest.
Hell, I may as well take a practice run while he’s right here and out cold. I lick my lips and close my eyes, thinking back to the day of the battle. I open my eyes again and focus on his face.
“Genrou, I was never so scared as when I thought I was gonna lose you. Even though I always knew you were in danger as a Seishi, it was nothing like this. If ripping out my own heart could have saved you, I would have. And if you’d died, I might have done it anyway.” I sigh in frustration. “This sounds so fucking clichéd. But it’s true. It’s like my whole world was ending. Gods, I’m so stupid. I’ve known that I felt this way for almost a year now. I had hundreds of opportunities to tell you, but I blew it. It took you nearly dying for me to realize I couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve loved you as a best friend and a brother. I still do. It’s just that . . . I love you as more than that, too.” I take another deep breath. “And someday, I’ll be able to tell you that.” I steal another look at his sleeping face and then turn to leave.
I freeze in place as a hand grabs my wrist. A cold shock goes through my whole body. He heard everything.
Oh fuck.
He’s not saying anything or letting me go. I’m too scared to move. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “Say something.”
There’s a pause. Then his lips press against the back of my hand gently. “Don’t go.”
I turn around and see genuine affection reflected in his eyes. It’s more than I could have hoped for. I sit down on the edge of the bed, still holding his hand. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I was,” he answers. “I woke up when you started talking.”
“I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you.”
He smiles. “It’s okay. You got around to it, baka.”
I look away, feeling a little embarrassed. “So, what happens now? I’ve never felt . . . like this . . . about a guy.”
Genrou raises an eyebrow. “Ya think I know?”
“Well, I thought maybe Nuriko had –“
He shakes his head. “Nuriko was acting like a girl; it was different. But . . . maybe we shouldn’t think so hard about this. Maybe we should just . . .”
“Do what we feel?”
He audibly gulps and nods. I smile slightly, lean down, and kiss his lips gently. By the jump his body gives, I can tell he wasn’t expecting it. But I’ve wanted to do that for so long. I pull back and gauge his reaction. He’s blushing, but he’s smiling. I think that’s a good thing. He’s suddenly looking a lot better than he has in days. I guess my kisses are good medicine.
“You should get some more rest,” I tell him softly. That’s not really what I want, but I know he still needs to heal.
Genrou looks like he’s going to argue but changes his mind when a yawn comes out instead. He settles back down, and I pull the covers over him. I kiss his forehead lightly. “Oyasumi. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
He nods and closes his eyes. His breathing evens out and becomes deep. I smile again to myself. Things worked out far better than I could have dreamed. I have so much I want to ask him. Has he felt this way for a long time, too? If so, why didn’t he say anything? Not that I’m one to talk.
Genrou’s brow creases in his sleep. It looks like he’s having a bad dream already. I lean down and softly kiss his eyes, hoping not to wake him. His body relaxes again.
I grin. Good fuckin’ medicine indeed. I sit back and wait impatiently for morning. Every good doctor wants to make his patient well again. And I’ve discovered a cure that’s as pleasurable to give as it is to take.